Assumptions
by Oxymoronic Alliteration
Summary: Someone likes Tim, and the young agent has preconceived notions as to what kind of person she is and is not. Surprise Het Pairing. Hangman prize for Laura!


"I've got a secret."

Tim glanced up at the Israeli woman who was leaning against his desk, her standing body towering over his sitting body. "Okay…" he said uncertainly.

"Are you not going to try and guess?"

"If I guess, it won't be a secret."

"It will be a secret between just us."

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Um…you're pregnant?"

"No," she said with a face.

"Gibbs is getting married again?"

"Very doubtful."

"Tony came out of the closet?"

"He's in a closet?"

Tim emitted a groan of frustration. "Ziva, I can't guess what your secret is! I'm not a mind reader."

She crossed her arms and considered this. After a moment, she nodded agreeably. "Very well! I will give you a hint. The secret has to do with you."

"Me?" he squeaked. "Did you see my performance report or…or my psych evaluation?"

"Oh, no," she assured him. "Nothing like that. Do you really think I would invade your privacy in that way?"

Tim didn't bother to answer. "Then what secret do you know, and how? You haven't been talking to Sarah or anything, have you?" he asked warily.

"No, this has nothing to do with your childhood, and I never said that the secret was _your_ secret, just that it has to do with you."

"Ziva, could you just tell me what the secret is?" Tim asked snippily. He was beginning to lose his patience.

She pouted, upset that he wasn't playing along with her game. "Fine!" she relented. After looking both ways to make certain no one was listening, Ziva leaned in and whispered, "Someone likes you."

"Likes me?" he repeated. "You mean like…they _like _like me?"

"I mean that she is very much attracted to you and would like to go out on a date."

Tim smiled. "Really?"

"Really, McGee."

"So…" he began, looking at her expectantly, "who is it?"

Once again, Ziva pouted. "Yes, well, that I cannot tell you."

"Why not?"

"I was sworn to secrecy."

"It's a bit difficult for me to go out on a date with this woman if she won't tell me who she is."

She shrugged. "I suppose I could ask her…if you are interested, of course…"

"Yes, I'm interested!" he said, perhaps a bit too eagerly. "I mean, I'd love to meet her. Just tell me, what is she like?"

"You mean is she pretty?" Ziva teased.

He blushed. 'I just want to know a bit more before I give a definite answer."

She mulled over the question, her tongue gently protruding from her lips as she thought. "She is intelligent and an avid reader, but she is also physically fit. She has what you might consider a healthy sense of humor…"

"Might?"

"She is often misunderstood in her attempts at humor," she elaborated. "She is a very opinionated woman and she always speaks her mind."

Tim waited for more, even prompting Ziva with an, "And…?"

"_And_ she is, in my opinion, a very attractive woman."

"Yeah?" he asked with a goofy grin.

"Should I take that as a 'yes'?"

Tim considered the question. He wasn't a fan of blind dates, but the mystery woman sounded like she was right up his alley. Besides, he had hit a bit of a dry spell recently and this could be just what he needed to jump start his love life. "Okay," he agreed, "I'll meet with her."

Ziva couldn't keep the look of pleasure from her face. "Wonderful! I will let her know that you want to go out on a date, just tell me when and where."

"How about a Saturday lunch date at Sun Ray Café?" he suggested.

"I think that will work just fine."

Tim couldn't help but think Ziva looked a bit _too_ satisfied.

* * *

He looked out the window for the fifteenth time since he'd gotten to the café. There was no sign of anyone he recognized. He frowned. Ziva had assured him that his secret admirer would be there, but he was starting to become dubious. Was it possible she was playing a practical joke on him? No, he decided as he shook his head. This wasn't the kind of joke Ziva would pull. Obviously, his date was running a little late.

Tim had just pulled out his phone when he heard a voice purr from behind him. "Hello, Agent McGee."

He jumped to his feet and turned…

"Ziva?" he asked, looking the woman up and down. "What are you doing here? Where's this girl who likes me?"

She rolled her eyes. "For a man who is so smart, you can be very dense at times."

"What?"

"_I _am your secret admirer! I was the one who wanted to meet with you for a date."

Tim was taken aback by the confession. "Y-you?" he asked in wonder. "You're the one who likes me."

"Are you disappointed?"

"No! Not at all! I'm just…surprised." He pulled the chair out for her, pushing it in after she sat. "I never imagined _you_ would be interested in someone like me."

"And why is that? You have much to offer a woman. Why should I not be interested in you?"

"I don't know," he said, ducking his head down shyly. "I just figured we were too different."

"You mean you are American and I am Israeli?"

"No, I mean I'm a geek and you…well, you're a beautiful and deadly assassin."

"You fear me?"

"No…well, yes, sometimes, but that's not the point. It's just that in high school, a girl like you would have never gone for a guy like me."

"We are not in high school, Timothy."

"I know."

"So why would you assume the situation here would be the same as it had been?"

He shrugged. "I guess it's hard not to."

"Assumptions can be deceitful, yes?" she commented, laying her hand over his. "For example, if I assumed that because you are intelligent, you are nothing more than a geek, I think I would miss out on the opportunity to go on a date with a wonderful man."

His lips twitched into a smile at her reference to him as a wonderful man. He'd thought about going on a date with Ziva quite a few times, but had chalked those thoughts up as being wishful thinking. The fact that said thinking had become a reality… "I'm glad that you didn't make that assumption."

She matched his grin with one of her own. "I, too, am glad."

"And you know what they say about assumptions…"

"What is that?" she asked in a moment of genuine confusion.

"It makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me.'" When she didn't respond, he added, "It's a play on words…you take the first three letters of 'assume' and–"

Her hand fell upon his mouth. "McGee, I normally love your drawn-out explanations of things, but I think I have something better to occupy your mouth right now…"


End file.
